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FAMILY FOOD
Foods your kids will really eat & foods your kids can help you cook
by Jesse J. Leaf
Since I’m a guy I like gadgets. All kinds of gadgets, even some that have a useful purpose and maybe make my life easier. Not many of them do. They sit around half assembled, without batteries, with my blood on them, stubbornly refusing to perform the function for which they were purchased. But I can’t resist. (I’m still in mourning for The Sharper Image, never mind the wimpy internet version.)
But I did resist the Crockpot. For a long, long time. (Yeah, I know, Jarden Corp. throws a hissy fit if you use their trademarked name. They demand you call other folks’ products “slow cookers.”)
So I resisted getting a Crockpot forever because, first, I had these nightmares of alien life forms incubating all day in a primeval soup, feasting on the meat and potato chunks, and crawling out of the top to take over the world. My second fear was the pot blowing its hidden electronic thingies and exploding in a shower of sparks and flame, setting the house on fire, and spreading to devour the entire city, while I was out of the house, cavalierly letting the gadget work on its own as it’s supposed to.
After a calming breath, I went in the other direction, fearing coming home, tired and hungry, to serve the kids raw meat awash in salmonella…or incinerated ash at the bottom of a burned-out pot. And besides, Crockpots look like the machine the dentist uses to sterilize those sadistic probes.
But that is all in the past. I got tuned in to Crockpot-slow cookers when a relative asked if I had any recipes for them. She is a working mom and needed the convenience of being able to come home with the kids to a hot meal. Still harboring my personal doubts, I figured she was expendable (we normally don’t interact often), so I played along, gave her some recipes, and waited to see if she survived.
After several months of no Bad News from other relatives, I figured she was still among us and emailed her about the experience. She wrote back, “I love, love, love my crockpot.” Resisting the temptation of reporting her to the Jarden Company’s trademark police, I re-examined my anti-Crockpot prejudice and delved into some research.
What I found out was illuminating, and you can follow my trail by going to Wikipedia or the Jarden Company’s website. I learned that it is a safe and effective method of cooking. So I got me one.
I’ve cooked just about everything imaginable, from soup to dessert, and now depend on it. It has lost its classification of “gadget.” It’s my friend.
If you work and have kids to feed, or even if you are a work-at-home mom or stay-at-home mom who dreads the 5:00 hour, when you’re trying to supervise homework, corral rambunctious kids, insure that the kids are bathed, and find time to get dinner going in the midst of all this, you’re going to find the Crockpot is a fine friend to you, too.
CROCKPOT CHILI
- 2 16-oz cans kidney beans
- 2 14.5-oz. cans tomatoes
- 2 lb. chopped chuck
- 2 medium onions, coarsely chopped
- 1 green pepper, chopped
- 2 garlic cloves, crushed
- 2 tsp. chili powder or to taste
- 1 tsp. pepper
- 1 tsp. cumin
- salt to taste
- 4-1/2 cups water
A few words here. The kids can dump; unless they’re at least tweens, you do the cutting. And if they’re young, maybe you’d better handle the spice measurements, too. Another note: If I have time, I brown the meat to color and separate it. When I don’t, nobody notices. The amount of chili powder you use depends on the asbestos index of your kids’ oral cavities. Do not test their limits. Start with two teaspoons and see what happens. This is not a contest. Good chili is succulent, not a test of endurance. Grow up.
Dump all ingredients into the pot at once, cover, and cook on low for 10 to 12 hours or on high for 5 to 6 hours. Serve with saltines or Ritz or whatever. Ice cream for dessert. You’ll get six good servings out of this. You can easily halve the amounts, or save for a future lunch or dinner. Freezes great.
For this next recipe, the kids can do most of the prep.
4 Cs CAKE (Chocolate Chocolate Crockpot Cake)
- 1 package instant chocolate pudding
- 1 bag chocolate chips (use the sweet chips)
- 1 package chocolate cake mix
- 1 cup water
- 4 eggs
- 3/4 cup applesauce
- 1 tablespoon oil
- 1 cup sour cream
First thing, grease up the Crockpot—use your hand with butter, margarine, Crisco, or that non-stick spray stuff. Dump all of the ingredients into a large bowl and look like a TV chef while you mix until well-blended. Use a big spoon and your muscles or an electric mixer. (When I use one, I invariably spray the kitchen with batter.) Pour the mixture into the Crockpot. Cook on low for 7 to 9 hours.
Looks like hell, tastes like heaven.
oooOOOooo
Jesse J. Leaf has spent the better part of a half century as a social critic and philosopher, writing on professional and popular topics encompassing science and the arts, both plastic and entertainment. He is the author of eight books and hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles and has appeared in newspapers from the New York Post to the Los Angeles Times, as well as on television programs such as the Today Show and 60 Minutes. He has also been a restaurant critic. In his spare time he has raised three children, two wives, and one cat and tries to ignore hurricanes and his lawn in Fort Lauderdale, FL.
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